Single dad and single mom dating can be complicated. Case in point: I sent a flirty text message to the single mom I met in a wine tasting bar (our first date, if you count creatively). The single mom and I had already been on another date since (date number two), and there was tons of chemistry between us. I was looking forward to this single mom dating me again. And not just because third-date sex loomed large. (Is there any other way for a third date to loom?) Dating wise, we’ve gotten along great. I’ve enjoyed spending time with her.
She texted me back: I want to see you, but can’t meet until early April.
Our second date had been totally spur of the moment. The single mom IM’d me at 10pm on a Friday night to see if I was up for a nightcap. (I’m guessing she was home early from a bad date, but whatever. If this dating single mom wanted to end her night with me, that’s a good thing.)
Unfortunately, this particular single dad wasn’t staring at yahoo messenger at 10pm on a Friday (I was out and about with another friend), so I missed that single mom dating escapade. But I emailed her the next day, we talked on the phone, and we picked a Sunday evening that worked for both of us.
That was a week and a half ago.
Single mom dating requires time management skills, especially when a single dad has his own custody schedule to sync up with hers. It can definitely try the patience, acceptance, and understanding to find a night that works for both. I get that. But early April? A month will have passed between our second and third dates.
There is stuff going on in her life that explains the delay. It’s not like she’s a single mom dating a million guys, and I’m supposed to take a number. (I’m not one to go exclusive after two dates, but I also don’t usually date four women at once. More like one woman at once. Ha!)
Unless two people are practicing long-distance dating, is there another scenario besides a single mom dating a single dad for two people to put so much time between nights out on the town?
Where’s a dirty texting ex-girlfriend when I need one?
Do Divorced Dads Need to Have More Kids to Find Love?
As a single father getting close to the empty nest years, I’m aware that unless I find a partner, I’ve got lonely times ahead. To help in my search for love, I recently joined Loveawake.com. (I know, I know – I hate online dating! But I did have some success with Loveawake.com years before. I know that having the right expectations about online dating is key.)
Each day Loveawake.com sends me profiles of people the service thinks I’d be compatible with, up to five new matches a day. I’ve been on the service for a few weeks, but since I don’t react to new profiles every day, I’ve only seen a few dozen profiles. In that time, Loveawake.com has kept my queue loaded with five profiles.
Until yesterday, when Loveawake.com only sent me two new matches.
Did I already burn through all the available women in my area?
Seems unlikely. The Bay Area is home to millions of people. You have to figure there’s more than a few dozen women on Loveawake.com who I’d be compatible with.
Then again, I marked the checkbox that said I don’t want more children. That’s a deal breaker for a lot of women out there.
It’s not the first time I’ve encountered this problem. Most single women in their 30s and early 40s are also looking to start a family. Some are willing to take on a single dad’s kids, but most seem to also want to have a child of their own. (Where are the single moms I could date?)
I realize if I select the checkbox that says I want to have more kids, I’ll hit the motherlode of single women, and Loveawake will once again be sending me five new profiles a day. But do I want that?
My kids are teens. As much as I love children, the next diaper I intend to change will belong to a grandchild, not a new child of mine. (Maybe I just need to hire a really good au pair, then I can keep having as many kids as I like. I’ll be the octodad! Haha)
It makes me wonder – after nine years of divorce, do I have to be willing to have more kids in order to find love?
Where’s Carol Brady when you need her?
(And can Freida Pinto play her in the movie version of my life?)